• That Was Genius Team

Episode 85 - Rocky Balboa Fisting Horses (Naturalists Week)

Tom's Notes: Naughty Nudey Nazis

Well it would appear that you choose a subject related to naturism, rather than naturalism, deliberately as a joke. I chose it because I misheard the topic in a rather Freudian way.

Audience feedback:

Jeroen and Jerome

Maysoemin; thank you for the great feedback. We’ve give you some unhelpful and contradictory career advice in return. Who the fuck seeks career advice from us two?

Michael; great feedback;

I have been listening through the back catalog of your podcast over the last few weeks and it has helped lighten up the gray quarantine of Seattle. On my daily walk I just listened to your left handed episode and had some information about Tom's section looking for left handed people in warfare. Being left handed myself, I have some first hand experience of being left handed in modern military scenarios. I spent a few years in the army and being left handed, also left eye dominate, when we would fire machine guns the brass casings would fly straight backwards and hit me just below my right eye and by the end of my service i had a line of faint scars below my eye from the hot casings. When using rifles, because of the way our gear vests are set up, I would use my right hand to reload since my left hand would be holding the rifle, and it meant I was able to reload quicker and more efficiently then right hand dominant people. One plus and one minus of being left handed in modern day warfare.

If you guys are looking for more history themed podcasts, "the Dollop" is quite similar to yours but is just about US history.

Keep up the good work as well as being top blokes!

-Michael

PS, I dont join the order of the bath due to being a broke graduate student but plan on it upon graduating.

Jesse from Michigan thinks we might look like Steve Merchant and Matthew Baynton.

I was inspired by a little known Second World War poem written by the famous English poet and RAF pilot Arthur Ramsey Bottomley Parpington. It’s quite moving, so I have some tissues ready.

Naughty nudey Nazis,

Naughty Nazi nudes,

Displaying all their private parts,

Rounding up the Jews.

Nasty nudey Nazis,

Nasty Nazi nudes,

Knackers out in Nurembourg,

Shocking all the prudes.

Au naturel Naughty Nazis,

Naughty Nazis in the nip,

Bare bums in the U-boat,

Torpedoed an allied ship.

Au naturel nasty Nazis,

Nasty Nazis in the nip,

Conquering neighbours territory,

Then going for a skinny-dip.

Nasty nudey naughty Nazis naked and numb,

Autumn in Russia isn’t very much fun.

Nasty nudey naughty Nazis naked and numb,

Bend over as you surrender and take it up the bum.

So, I decided to find out how nudey the Nazis really were, or if they were nudey at all.

When you look into the history of the naturist movement (swinging left, and right, bouncing up and down) you find that there were lots of German proponents of being in the nip at the start of the 20th century. There’s a chap called Heinrich Pudor who wrote extensively on the subject. He inspired another chap called Richard Ungewitter. These two are referred to as pioneers of naturism, certainly in Germany, but also around the world.

Both Pudor and Ungewitter, amongst others, wrote about eugenics and were vocal anti-Semites. They saw naturism in a wider Volkisch context, by that I mean they believed in the superiority of the German race, they wanted to keep Germans ‘pure’ and they believed that German culture needed to be more Germanic; you know, yodelling, sacrifices to Woden, weird and rather dark folklore, long blonde hair in pony-tales, fighting each other, being defeated by the Romans, goblins in the black forest; all that schizzel.

Connected to this, they believed that Germans, to be at their best, needed to quit alcohol, eat raw food, practice vegetarianism and exercise regularly in the nip. This, to me, sounds very un-German- there’s nothing a German likes more than to eat sausage, drink beer and wear denim, with only their mullet swinging freely in the breeze.

So when you research it, the history of naturism in Germany aligns nicely with more widespread political philosophies. It fits in very nicely with this idea that Hitler and Nazism didn’t just emerge out of nowhere but ideas of Germanic racial superiority, and anti-Semitism, were widespread in German culture long before the 1930s. Think Nietzsche, think Wagner.

During the Weimar Republic, Pudor was a very aggressive critic of politicians and this continued into the Nazi era. In fact, in 1933 his magazine, called Swastika, was banned by the Nazi Party for being too critical of the party. In particular, Pudor thought the Nazis were taking it a bit easy on the Jews!

Pudor was a nutter, for a start, Pudor was an adopted surname and is the Latin for ‘sense of modesty or shame’. Pudor also loathed women who worse corsets, arguing that they should be flogged for exaggerating their bust and booties. Ungewitter was arguably worse! He encourage nudists to shout abuse at corset wearers and a suitable punishment for these corset Nazis (hold on, that doesn’t work), he thought, was to be drowned in a bog.

Both men were watching the rise of the Nazis with anticipation, thinking, finally, here are some go-getters, here are some people receptive to German mass nudity. These guys will get it. The master-race must want to get naked. It’s only a matter of time before Hitler writes a sequel; Mein Pants, and Goebbels shows his big balls, Goring stops being boring, Von Ribbentrop let his undies drop and Himmler does something similar.

It’s worth noting that at the same time as these rather odd men who were publishing shit loads of stuff and developing a following amongst the middle classes, was a chap called Adolf Koch (no laughing Sam). Koch published much less than the other two but was actually far more influential and more followers. He was concerned with the poorer, urban class and thought that improved health, through nudey activities, would help the proletariat. The early 20th century was a time when Germany was rapidly urbanising and large numbers of people went from environments where they worked hard outside in the sun all day, drinking milk from the cows titties, eating turnips straight from the ground, breathing in the fresh air of Grandma’s flatulent choruses, to stinky, polluted, and cramped cities. In the field of medicine, people were starting to see how important sun exposure was to common medical conditions like Emoism, Gothluenza and Gingerism.

Despite causing quite a controversy early on in his movement, by secretly making students exercise nude at a Catholic school, he seems to have been genuine in his intentions and not quite as much of a twonk as the other two (although quite a socialist twonk). He was a supporter of eugenics, i.e. not letting ugly people procreate, but probably wasn’t racist. In fact, in 1947 he was found not guilty of supporting the Nazi Party despite signing up for an 18 month membership with the SS (GERMAN ACCENT; sign up for 18 months and get a free pair of leather boots! Each month we’ll send you a fine china SS officer goosestepping, collect all 18!), something he apparently did to simply curry favour in the hope of being allowed to continue his organisation. As it turns out, he wasn’t racist enough, unlike another umbrella group for nudist which stood up and proudly said to the Nazi Party, we hate Jews! They shan’t be allowed to be nude with us! So Koch’s nudist movement was crushed, like nude testicles on bike, by the Nazis.

The other umbrella group, the racist one, was tolerated by the Nazis despite Herman Goring being very boring and in 1933 passing a law to stop mixed sex nudism:

“One of the greatest dangers for German culture and morality is the so-called nudity movement. Greatly as it is to be welcomed in the interest of the public health, that ever wider circles, especially of the metropolitan population, are striving to make the healing power of sun and air and water serviceable to their body, as greatly must the so-called nudity movement be disapproved of as a cultural error. Among women the nudity kills natural modesty; it takes from men their respect for women, and thereby destroys the prerequisite for any genuine culture. It is therefore expected of all police authorities that, in support of the spiritual powers developed through the national movement, they take all police measures to destroy the so-called nude culture.”

The reason why the racist starkers umbrella group managed to continue is because Himmler and other leading figures in the SS (Sausage swingers) rather liked a bit of nudity. I think I read somewhere that they would often go jogging in the nicky-nacky-noo-noos.

In the SS magazine Das Schwarze Korps (The Black Corps), they were happy to advertise books like Der Mensch und die Sonne, by a chap called Hans Surén, first published in 1924. This book was hugely popular through the Nazi period. The book title translates as Man and the Sun and it was a collection of pictures of naked Germans playing in the sun. It was basically a slightly erotic celebration of the beautiful bodies of the Germanic people with accompanying descriptions like "sun-browned member" and "sack pulsing with blood and both small egg-shaped testicles." Nothing homoerotic here officer. Suren made the book explicitly anti-Semitic in later editions, directly quoting Hitler, and the Nazi’s learnt to love it!

There was also a considerable amount of nudity, in the same vein, in the 1938 propaganda film ‘Olympia’ which was about the Berlin Olympics.

So nudism slowly became more accepted by the Nazi party, something highlighted by Himmler passing legislation permitting nude sunbathing in public in 1942.

Despite his excellent work keeping nudism going during the Third Reich, things didn’t end so well for Suren though because he was caught wanking in public and eventually imprisoned. It would appear that celebrating the nudes of the master race was one thing, repeatedly wanking a couple of ladies in the neighbourhood was quite another. I have sympathy, it’s a difficult line to tread isn’t it? Nudity okay. Wanking at people not okay. Gas cookers okay. Gas chamber not okay. Drive car to Poland okay. Drive tank to Poland not okay.

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